Marriage with the Intention of Divorce

Marriage with the intention to divorce Shaykh Saalih ibn Fowzaan al-Fowzaan

Reference: Fatwa No.38215 http://www.alfawzan.ws/AlFawzan/bookTabs/tabid/70/Default.aspx?mode=title&PageID=38215

Category: Marriage

What is the ruling regarding marriage with the intention to divorce, bearing in mind there is no such agreement between the man and the woman, and the woman is unaware of this (i.e. that she is entering a marriage where the man intends - from the outset - to divorce her)?

This is deception on the part of the husband. She did not marry him upon this (intention), (rather), she married him on the basis that this will be a lasting marriage. So if he conceals this intention, then he has deceived her. Deception is not permissible, (and) marriage with the intention to divorce is not permissible for that which entails therein (much) evil and corruption. Now, those who travel to the Far East and get married every night, they marry and divorce, marry and divorce – much evil and corruption has ensued from that, so this is not permissible.

Translator: Mohammed Akhtar Chaudhry, Abu Abdullaah

Date Published: Friday, 04 September 2009

No poverty after Paradise, and no Riches after the Fire.

It is reported that Jundub b. ‘Abdillâh Al-Bajalî – Allah be pleased with him – was once asked for advice and instruction. He said:

I advise you to fear Allâh and obey Him (taqwâ) and I advise you to adhere to the Quran, for it is a light in the dark night and a guidance during the day, so implement it no matter how much struggle and poverty you have to face. If a calamity befalls you, put your wealth forward to protect your religion, and if the calamity continues, put forward your wealth and your life to save your religion [but never risk your religion], for the ruined is he whose religion is ruined, and the looted is he whose religion is taken. And know that there is no poverty after Paradise, and no riches after the Fire.

Al-Dhahabî, Siyar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ` 3:174.

Choosing The Desired Wife

Choosing The Desired Wife
By: Ibrahim Abu Khalid

http://www.quraan.com/

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble prophet Muhammad,and upon his family and companions.

When marriage is spoken of during these "modern" times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that "perfect" companion, how much of a financial burden it will become, and so on. The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience.

When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work. And so the wisdom of the Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) echoes on, when he said: "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality..."

When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is.

As Muslims, we believe that Allah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advise of our own Creator, and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful.

WHO TO MARRY

Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) said: "A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery.

True, beauty and charm is hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway. In another hadith, the Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) said: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by Rasulallah (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam), who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman. Once the following ayah was revealed: "They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allah, unto them give tidings of a painful doom. On that day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads and flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them): 'Here is what you hoarded for yourselves, now taste of what you used to hoard' "[al-Taubah: 34-35]. Umar (RadiAllaahu anhu) has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. Rasulallah (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen, obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husbands property when he is away. Abu Bakr once asked Rasulallah (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) replied: "the tongue in remembrance of Allah, the heart filled with thanks to Allah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds". Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person.

QUALITIES OF THE PIOUS WOMAN

Alright, you say, you've convinced me, but what actually makes her a pious woman? The answer is simple: Allah himself has described those qualities most loved by Him in the Qur'an, and in the ahadith there are numerous accounts of the virtuous attributes of a pious woman.

The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. "And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity"[s.24;v.26]

"Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard"[s.4;v.34]

"It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (Muslims), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for faith) and fast..."[s.66;v.5].

And then, in surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities loved by Allah, qualities which by the way should be evident in both males and females. So, my dear brother, choose her for the following attributes:

A Muslim woman

A believing woman

A devout woman

A true woman

A woman who is patient and constant

A woman who humbles herself

A woman who gives charity

A woman who fasts and denies herself

A woman who guards her chastity

A woman who engages much in Allah's praise.

Among the four known perfect women was Maryam. She was loved by Allah because of her religious qualities: "O Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down"[s.3;v.43]. Another was the wife of Pharaoh: "And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: 'O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden' "[s.66;v.11].

The Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) loved his wives because of their religious qualities. Aisha once related the fine qualities of Zainab: "(Zainab) was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allah's Messenger (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam), and I have never seen a woman more advanced in religious piety than Zainab, more God-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self-sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allah, the Exalted, than her." Ahh, you think, but you'll never find such a woman! Well, if that was true, Allah would not have described her in the first place, and furthermore those qualities were emanating from the women described above. Islam deals with reality, not fiction. Sure, the perfect woman doesn't exist, yet "if you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good"[s.4;v.19]. Remember also that you are not perfect either.

KNOWING WHO SHE IS

To find that pious woman, there are two steps to be taken, and that first one relies on your personal observation. In surah Nisaa, Allah asks the believing women that they should "lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments," and also that they "should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments"[s.24;v.31]. If you notice a woman acting modestly, being not too obvious through her actions (by lowering her voice when around men), one who attempts to hide her attractions (which includes her external beauty as well as her internal charms), then you know she has some of those precious qualities. When you see a woman unashamedly flirting, unconcerned about her revealing clothes, and freely converses with males- keep far, far away. I'm sure when you get married you want your wife to devote her love to you, not to twenty other "just good friends".

Through simple observation, you can get a glimpse of her nature; for example, the way she stands when conversing, how she maintains eye-contact, her clothes, where she spends her time etc. Look for her strong points, and don't stress on her weak ones.

Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want at her, set a private investigator to track her movements, read her diaries (all of which I consider extreme and un-Islamic), yet, my dear brother, no-one knows her heart and intentions, no-one knows whether she will turn sour or more religious, or whether you are suitable for each other, except for Allah.

TRUST IN ALLAH

We are choosing our wife for her permanent values; namely her religious devotions, moral integrity, character etc. But believe me, if we try ourselves to combine a marriage, we are almost sure to fail, because we have no knowledge.

Allah loves a servant when he puts his trust in Him. When we do so, it is illustrating how we rely upon Him for help, and proving our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognize His infinite knowledge and wisdom.

Islam is likened to being as a house, and in my estimation nothing cements that house together as well as putting our trust in Allah.

It is related on the authority of Jabir ibn 'Abdullah that the Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) used to teach his companions to seek, through a special du'a (known as an istikharah), the guidance of Allah in all matters which affected them. Rasulallah (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) said: "When you are confused about what you should do in a certain situation, then pray two rak'at of nafl salaat and read the following du'a (du'a of istikharah)."

I am surprised at the criticisms thrown at this du'a, and of its negligence. We are humans, powerless in this sphere of life, knowledgeable only enough to survive. So why shouldn't we turn to Allah and seek His perfect help whenever we require it? Allah responds to the call of His servant when he asks for guidance, and we are after all seeking to do something in order to please Him.

Many wrong notions exist concerning istikharah. Many Muslims will pray, read the du'a, and run to bed expecting to see a dream showing them their future wife, what her favourite colour is, and some other weird fantasy. That is not the purpose of this salaat.

The results of an istikharah can take many forms. Basically, you go by your feelings, whether you now feel more favorable or not. Also, you may notice events have changed, either for or against you. Finally, as a wonderful gift from Allah, you may be blessed with a dream. Note that you must follow the results of an istikharah, because not doing so is tantamount to rejecting Allah's guidance once you've asked for it. Also, you should firstly clear your mind, not have your mind already decided, and then afterwards follow the results willingly.

The Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) once sent Zainab a proposal of marriage. She refused to accept the proposal straight away, expressing her intention to refer the matter to Allah: "I do not do anything until I solicit the will of my Lord." Allah, the Responsive, answered her plea for help and revealed an ayah approving of the marriage. We may seem shocked at her refusal to accept a proposal from what is the best husband any woman can have, yet she was just recognizing that it is Allah who knows how successful such a marriage will be, and as a sign of appreciation, that reply is now preserved in our Holy Book: al Qur'an.

The Prophet (SalAllaahu alaihe wa sallam) once said to Aisha: "I saw you in a dream for three nights when an angel brought you to me in a silk cloth  and he said: 'Here is your wife', and when I removed (the cloth) from your face, lo, it was yourself, so I said: 'if this is from Allah, let Him carry it out' ". 

Marriage is a serious step, and requires the right attitude. If marriage completes half our faith, shouldn't that half be the best half? A woman married for the wrong reasons can only weaken the Muslim household. Consider that she will be your life-long companion, the bearer of your children. Don't marry her for her worldly wealth, but for her wealth in Islamic wisdom and knowledge. Her status in this life is but illusionary, so choose her for her status in the sight of Allah. Beauty is but superficial, but the beauty of Iman is transcendent. 
When asking Allah for a wife, call upon Him by His beautiful names, as He has commanded us: "For Allah are certain and dignified names: therefore call upon Him by them"[s.7;v.189]. Ask for a companion who is devout, pious, patient and so on. Be among those who say: "Our Lord, may our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous"[al-Furqan,74].

I cannot provide a better conclusion than saying that you must put your trust in Allah. You must have trust in His concern for us, and His ability to help us. Allah says: "Put your trust in Allah, for Allah loves those who put their trust in Him"[s.3;v.159]. 

May Allah help us in our sincere efforts in following His commandments and the way of His beloved servant, and provide us with wives whom He loves. "When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me: let them also, with a will, listen to my call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way"[al-Baqarah,v.186].

A Concise Legacy

A Concise Legacy

Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Uthaymeen

Source: Al-Istiqaamah Magazine , Issue No.5 - Ramadân 1417H / January 1997

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Indeed all praise is for Allaah. We praise Him, we seek His help and we seek forgiveness from Him. And we seek refuge in Allaah from the evils within our own souls and our evil actions. Whomsoever Allaah guide, then none can misguide him; and whomsoever Allaah leaves to stray, then none can guide him aright. Indeed it is Allaah who sent His Messenger Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam with the Guidance and the Religion of Truth, and he conveyed this Message, fulfilled his trust, fought Jihaad as it should be fought, and he did not die except that he left his Ummah (nation) upon a clear path, its night is like its day, and no one deviates from it except that he is destroyed. And may Allaah extol and send blessings of peace upon His Messenger Muhammad, and upon his Family, his Companions, and those who follow them in goodness. Then to proceed:

So on this night, Sunday the 27th of Rabee'ul-Awwal 1417H - which corresponds to the 10th of August 1996CE - I am pleased to have this opportunity to say a few words to you. I hope that Allaah would bless them and that He would also bless our brothers in England; who have traveled from various places in order to here these few words on the telephone, for which they will receive - with the help of Allaah - that promise which has been mentioned by the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam when he said: "Whosoever treads a path to seek knowledge, then Allaah would make easy for him a path to Paradise."1 So I ask from my brothers to accept these wasaayah (legacies and sincere advices) which I hope would be of benefit to them:-

THE FIRST LEGACY
So I advise you to have the taqwaa of Allaah - the Mighty and Majestic - both in private and public. And taqwaa means that a person should stand firm upon the obedience of Allaah, doing what Allaah ordered him to do, and abandoning what He prohibited him from, starting with establishing the Salaah (Prayer) in their fixed and stated times, and in congregation, for those who are obliged to do so. Along with the five daily Prayers, you should also pray the rawaatib (stressed and recommended Prayers) which are connected to the five daily Prayers - and they are four rak'ahs before the Dhuhr Prayer and two after it. Two rak'ahs after the Maghrib Prayer. Two rak'ahs after the 'Ishaa Prayer. And two rak'ahs before the Fajr Prayer. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "There is no Muslim who Prays twelve optional rak'ahs from the non-obligatory Prayer every day, except that Allaah will build for him a house in Paradise."2 Likewise, you should pay the Zakaah; which is an obligatory amount taken from your wealth and given to the poor and the needy. Allaah - the Most High - said to his Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam:

"Take charity from their wealth in order to purify them and to sanctify them by it." [Soorah a-Tawbah 9:103].

The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said to Mu'aadh ibn Jabal, when he was sending him to Yemen: "And inform them that Allaah has obligated upon them to give charity from their wealth, to be taken from the rich and given to the poor."3

Likewise, one should fast in the month of Ramadaan, because Allaah has prescribed it for this Ummah, and one should make the Hajj (Pilgramage) and the 'Umrah (Lesser Pilgramage) for whosoever has the ability to do so. These are the pillars of Islaam, after the first pillar which is the Shahaadatain (the two testimonies); to testify that none has the right to be worshipped except Allaah, and to testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah.

THE SECOND LEGACY
I advise my brothers that they should unify their ranks, and that they should be like a single body seeking to establish the Religion of Allaah, as Allaah - the Most High - said:

"Allaah has prescribed for you the same Religion which He prescribed to Noah, and that which We revealed to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and that which We prescribed to Ibraaheem, Moses and Jesus 'alayhimus-salaam, saying: That you should establish the Religion by doing that which you were commanded with, and that you should not make any divisions in it." [Soorah ash-Shooraa 42:13].

Thus it becomes very clear that what is required from us - as it was required from the Prophets who were foremost in resolve - is to establish the Religion and not to make any divisions therein. So our Lord - the Mighty and Majestic - ordered us to establish the Religion and not to make any divisions in it. O my brothers! Unite your ranks, and do not differ, since Allaah - the Most High - said:

"And do not dispute with each other, unless you loose courage and your power departs, but be patient. For indeed Allaah is with those who are patient." [Soorah al-Anfaal 8:46].

Do not label each other as being deviant, nor label each other as being sinners. If you see in any of your brothers that which is objectionable, then go to them and debate with them about this, until your word is unified, and thus cause the Ummah to remain united. None of you should try to slander his brother, since this will cause a great deal of enmity and hatred. Likewise, none of you should declare his Muslim brother to be a disbeliever, innovator or a sinner - since this is not from the nature of a Muslim.

THE THIRD LEGACY
I also advise you - O brothers - to do those actions which will be the cause of love and affection to develop between you. Many people do not truly understand the Religion of Islaam. Indeed many people think that the Religion of Islaam includes certain bad traits - even though Islaam in reality objects to them - because some Muslims portray a false image of Islaam. Rather, the Religion of Islaam is a Religion of truthfulness, righteousness and justice. It is a Religion which calls for reconciling people. It is also a Religion which wages war against all bad actions and characteristics; such as lying, cheating, deception and transgressing upon others. Allaah - the Most High - said:

"Indeed Allaah enjoins upon you justice, kindness and the giving of good to relatives and near ones, and He prohibits you from all shameful and evil deeds, oppression and transgression. He admonishes you, in order that you may take heed and be reminded. And fulfil the Covenant of Allaah when you have made it, and do not break your oaths after you have confirmed them, and indeed you have appointed Allaah as your Guarantor. Indeed Allaah knows all what you do." [Soorah an-Nahl 16:90-91].

O my brothers, da'wah (calling to Islaam) is to be done by your actions, as you are commanded to do it with your speech However, da'wah through actions will be more effective than da'wah which is merely done with speech. So I say again, that those who practice Islaam in a wrong manner, they will create a false understanding of Islaam in people's view. Allaah - the Most High - has said about those who invite to what is correct, but do not practice themselves:

"O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do. It is most hateful to Allaah that you say that which you do not do." [Soorah as-Saff 61:2-3].

THE FOURTH LEGACY
I advise you all to safeguard your time and to occupy yourselves in that which is beneficial. You should know that time is more precious than wealth, as Allaah - the Most Blessed, the Most High - said:

"Until when death comes to him, he says: O my Lord! Give me respite so that I may then do righteous actions." [Soorah al-Baqarah 2:333].

Time is such that when it departs it does not return, whereas wealth, when it departs, then it is possible to replace it. So time is of the utmost importance. This is why I advise you to safeguard your time, and to occupy yourselves in that which benefits. Keep away from qeela wa qaal (gossiping) - that so and so said such and such about this and that person - because the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said in an authentic narration: "Indeed Allaah hates qeela wa qaal (gossip mongering), asking too many questions, and wasting one's wealth."4 Unfortunately, many of the youths - after returning to the correct path, and uniting their hearts and unifying their word - have become disunited and fragmented into many factions, and this is due to the whisperings of Shaytaan amongst them and the disuniting of their word. So I advise the brothers to utilize your time in beneficial matters, and to keep away from qeela wa qaal. Indeed, time is like a sword; either you strike it, or it will strike you!

THE FIFTH LEGACY
Call to Allaah with mildness, forbearance, and intending to rectify matters - not with harshness, nor intending to cause divisions. This is because Allaah - the Most Perfect - said to His Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam:

"Call mankind to the way prescribed by your Lord, with wisdom, and admonish them with the examples and warnings that Allaah has provided in His Book, and argue with them in a way that is better." [Soorah an-Nahl 16:125].

"By the mercy of Allaah you behaved with gentleness towards them. Had you been severe or harsh-hearted they would have left you and departed. So pass over their faults, and ask Allaah to forgive them, and consult them in the affairs." [Soorah Aali-'Imraan 3:159].

Thus, it is obligatory for the Believer to follow the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam in this, and to be mild and forbearing in calling to Allaah - the Most Blessed, the Most High - since it is authentically established from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa aalihi wa sallam that he said: "Indeed Allaah is gentle and loves gentleness, and He gives due to gentleness that which He does not give due to harshness."5

THE SIXTH LEGACY
Striving hard in acquiring knowledge, since that is the reason why you have left your cities and homes, and have left your family and friends. So it is upon you all to strive hard in gaining knowledge, and to study deeply - not merely to take an exam, rather it is for the knowledge itself. So strive hard in seeking knowledge. Finally, I ask Allaah that He enables us to utilize our time in a beneficial way, according to what Allaah - the Most Blessed, the Most High - has made us responsible for.

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1. Related by Muslim (no.1888), Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu 'anhu.
2. Related by Muslim (no.728), from Ummu Habeebah radiallaahu 'anhaa.
3. Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.7372) and Muslim (no.19).
4. Related by Muslim (no.1715), from Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu 'anhu.
5. Saheeh: Related by Ibn Maajah (no.3688), from Abu Hurayrah. It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Saheehul-Jaami' (no.1771).

Advice for Knowing the Right People to be Around

As Salaamu alaikum

I found this post to be of some benefit and InshaAllaah they will not mind me re-posting.

JazakAllaahu khairun, Aameen

http://alcherokee.multiply.com/journal/item/20/Advice_for_Knowing_the_Right_People_to_Be_Around_