As Salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh
Below, I am just sharing this letter that I had to recently send to a store that you may be able to use in shaa allaah if this happens to you:
Hello, I am a new customer of your market and became a member within the first week of shopping there as I have been in search of a new all natural/organic market. Needless to say by my frequent shopping, I am very pleased with your market and have not had any bad experiences there until today.
I am a very modest woman who observe my religion to the fullest and in doing so I wear the tradition dress/garments of a modest protected woman. I always welcome questions of my religion as it is my duty to invite, however I do not think it is of good etiquette of any of your employees to question on whether I am hot in my clothing in the summer or not. I found it to be very offensive and unnecessary as anyone with intellect knows that the summer brings heat for the lewd and modestly dressed individual.
Everyone from employees to even your customers have been very friendly with every one of my visits so far and I do not wish to have an experience as I mentioned above in your store in the future. I thank you for listening. I trust that this will be handled discreetly, however you may contact me if you need to.
My dear sisters, In sha Allaah this may be of some benefit to you to use as a possible template. You may arrange it to fit your situation.
As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu,
ReplyDeleteJazakallaahu khair for sharing. I get sick of that question and as innocent as it may seem is highly inappropriate. As quiet as I am I often have to hould my tongue from responding with a very rude comment or question.
Nicely put Nissa. Was this the market offshore? I want to visit it too
ReplyDeleteThis is well put mashaallah. It all depends to me how the person asks and responds, you have to imagine there are probably tons of questions the average American is curious to know about Muslims, this one thing just might be the ice breaker and most obvious, and gateway into the discussion of so you actaully choose to do this, we gotta use tact and not come off like we are belligerent and maladjusted
ReplyDeleteWa alaikum Salaam wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh. Barak Allaah feekunna.
ReplyDelete@ Ummx: Na'am, I know exactly what you mean.
@Ummidris: I absolutely love this market and their selections of organic and natural products that I was only able to find online. Now I don't have to worry about the shipping maa shaa Allaah, lol. Next time I go, I'll see what your doing in shaa Allaah.
@Summerreading: Na'am, it does depend on how the person asks, which in this case, it was a cause for this letter maa shaa Allaah. I do look for ice breakers myself when someone is looking at you in an "interesting" way by starting small conversation and such, just to remind them that it is a person underneath ya know. Majority of the time, I have no problem with any rudeness after that maa shaa Allaah.
I agree, I think this letter was very well put and very appropriate in many instances. In my experience, I find that some people (sincerely) do not know, but have enough sense (and good manners) to articulate their curiosities in an intelligent way. And then you have those people who may or may not know but are just (sincerely) plain ignorant, interesting and waspish in their attempt to find out.
ReplyDeleteJazakallaahu khair Nisa, May Allaah reward you for your efforts (you're always thinking about us <3 )
As salamu alaykum, Very well put and gives me an idea to write to walmart. I was recently asked by a cashier "what nationality are you". Mind you I have NO accent and wear niqab. Actually I speak better English than she did. Her grammar was butchered to no return. She claimed to have never seen the "head-dress", as she called it. She was LYING, ALL the Muslims in my area go to walmart, from every nation. Then she asked was my land war-torn. I said "yes, but my people live peacefully & respectfully together, the Muslims majority & the catholic minority, have always respected each-other and never harmed one another. Its the outsider racists that invaded us who kill & cause chaos". She looked stupid, and felt stupid too. I meant to make her look stupid because she was trying to be smart. I do not mind questions, if respectful. I actually welcome them, but I will not tolerate disrespect.
ReplyDeleteIn sha Allah, I will contact Walmart's corporate office,because local management, is just as stupid. Jazak Allahu khair for the great idea!
As Salaamu Alaikum...Question? I am new the way the of the salaf and have took my shahadah 2 years ago. I live close to newark,nj where muslims and christians are everywhere. I am finding now that I have completely and properly covered, I am getting questions, not from the christians but from the muslims(from different countries) about why do I dress like I do? Am I hot, or am I uncomfortable? Why do I cover my face? I wear my modest overgarment, with my niqab. What's so different about that??? I am a bit taken back and offended as to why a muslim would ask another muslim that. I didnt see this coming at all! How do I respond to this type of question?
ReplyDeleteWa alaikum salaam wa rahmatullaah
ReplyDeleteIn shaa Allaah ukhti, since you are close to Newark maa shaa Allaah, you may ask someone who has the knowledge to respond to this question, perhaps from the masjid there pertaining to this issue as I do not want to answer or speak on this issue due to lack of knowledge. And In shaa Allaah you can return and let us know as I am sure we have all experienced the same as what you speak of and Allaah knows best. May Allaah reward you with good, aameen.
Aameen wa jazaaki Allaah khairan, alhamdulillaah.
ReplyDeleteMaa shaa Alaah, ukhti..Aameen.
ReplyDeleteAs Salaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu Nisa! (smiles)...I must agree with the other sisters here. Such a well written and much needed letter. I just ...just the other day experienced this very thing ( not for the first time mind you ) As I paid a visit to one of our local beauty supply stores . I could strongly fell the stare of one of the sales associates. I felt it coming....and sure nuff there goes that common question "Are you hot". Walhamdulillaah I was able to kindly and tactfully answer her question. I must admit she was not rude. I responded politely. However, I must say I doubt seriously if I was the first sister to cover in black from head to toe that she has asked this question. Baarak Allaah Feeki Nisa .
ReplyDeletewa alaikum salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa baarakatuh (smiles)
ReplyDeleteNa'am, you can tell the ones who are sincere in asking that question vs. the ones taking every opportunity to offend you, however it is an annoying question all the same. For me, when I am asked that question, it still requires a deep breath and for Allaah to bless me with some patience and take it as an opportunity to invite to the religion in shaa allaah.
Wa feeki baarak Allaah Zainab.
Na'am this is true...I agree.
ReplyDelete